Try a "Lava Sweep" build, it's pretty close to top tier dps and is VERY enhancement shaman, more-so than actual enhancement shaman ever was.
AoE is not king in raids, I'm not really sure where that is coming from to be honest but high single target is now and has always been important for raiding at any difficulty level. Most builds that have huge aoe damage either have mediocre single target damage or have strings attached that make them function worse under certain circumstances. I am currently playing Warden of Demonreach for example. It has pretty good single target and the AoE is monstrous under ideal conditions, but all of its biggest damage comes from long cast times which makes it useless against any enemies that don't stay alive for a while. (cone of cold and shadowflame become your best friend very quickly despite only being a fraction of the damage of the overall build)
In terms of community, join a guild that matches your playstyle. It sounds like you are associating with sweatlords and there are certainly plenty of them floating around. There are plenty of more relaxed guilds that are chipping away at content at their own pace. I am currently in such a guild tackling heroic and mythic MC. We managed to to clear most of Mythic MC. (got walled by Magmadar though)